I consider myself and artist. Not because I think I am any good at what I do or because I think my work is marketable; but because I absolutely must "create" in order to be happy with my life. In this respect I believe everyone on the planet to be an artist in one way or another whether they are aware of it or not. I am aware of my need to create just like I am aware that I need to eat, breathe and sleep. My mediums vary as well as my subjects but whatever I find myself creating it gives me purpose.
My creative process is sometimes tedious and defeating but I know I have to do it. One of my goals in life is to be a better artist. It's a never ending goal and I can always work toward it. That is part of what makes it so special to me.
There are a lot of things I struggle with as an artist. When I am working on a piece of art I usually always hate what I am working on for the first few sittings. I find that the pieces I hate the most in the beginning tend to be the ones I end up actually liking in the end. This could very well be because I spend a lot more time on these pieces and they grow on me. I am not really sure. Sometimes I struggle with patience as well. If I am nearing the end of a piece (or what I think might be the end) sometimes I want to rush through it and stop. I think this leaves me with a lot of work that I feel is unfinished. Sometimes when I feel uninspired to start something new I come back around to these old pieces and do some finishing touches. One of the biggest challenges I face is knowing when I need to put a piece that I am working on down and come back to it later. There are times when you just have to walk away from your work and come back to it with a new perspective. If something isn't working right for me I find it difficult to walk away from it. I have ruined more than one painting by messing with one particular spot over and over until it's far worse off than when i started with it. Despite all of these difficulties that I have making art is the one thing I can enjoy doing in almost any setting. I can do it alone, with a group of people or in a crowded public place.
Someday I hope to be gainfully employed utilizing my ability to express creativity. Until then I do what I have to do and that to me is painting/drawing/sketching as much as humanly possible.
Love what you wrote Karli... I think life is very much like your comment about your art...how you can spoil it by messing with it so much and not just walking away from it for a while... I do this with many areas of my own life (particularly relationships with partentS, husband, kids)- I wish there was some sort of life gauge that would say "Enough for Now - Come back later when your not so ..... (frustrated, angry, whatever)." Alas, I often just plug along.. improving on some relationships and ruining others. I will say that the older I have gotten, the more I can recognize how much my repeated pounding on a certain area over and over just makes it worse. It is getting easier and easier to step away from things (or people) for a while and just let them be. In a few weeks, months or years perhaps we will have both changed enough to pick back up and try anew. I particularly feel this way with regard to my Mother-in-law as well as my own family members. Friends are easy - I get to choose them and can easily walk away if I need to ... it's the ones I got dealt with from the start or through my marriage that I keep "messing with" to try and make fit in MY picture of life.. When really, what I need to do is accept what they are - embrace them for what they CAN provide in our relationship and move myself in the direction I know is best for ME - which in some cases doesn't include them. RANDOM THOUGHT: LIFE IS A FOOD PROCESSOR - PEOPLE ARE THE FOOD - RELATIONSHIPS ARE THE PROCESS - WHO WE INCLUDE AND HOW WE MIX THEM TOGETHER DETERMINES THE END PRODUCT OF US.
ReplyDeletehahah so thoughtful leah!!!!! I agree with a lot of what you said and I try to move toward acceptance of people in my life as well. It's a challenge for sure. :)
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